Confused

I'm sorry, I really am! My post from yesterday.. isn't that happy. But that is how I felt and I couldn't act like I didn't care.. It's so hard to be around him, but that's life..

The picture above ain't about Tom, but I think it is true. When you're in love, you're not able to see it, but after a while.. You start to see little things and you begin to think that he doesn't like you anymore. And when you ask it, he'll act like you're crazy or like he didn't heard your question.

I should have realized the next thing yesterday, but I simply didn't think about anything anymore. I was trying to stop thinking, I couldn't.

 I want to say sorry if I made somebody angry or something like that. I didn't meant it like that.
You can call me a stupid little girl and I would know you're right. But that I know it doesn't mean I accept it.

So I hope you'll just try to accept me how I am, I'll try the same.

Goodnight!

Xx Hailey

Lies

At the moment im very frustrated about something. Or to be more precise, someone.
There is a boy, I'll call him Tom ( don't want to use his real name) and we used to be very close. We even were kind of in love.. But now, now we don't realy talk to each other, I hate it..
I miss him, well not realy miss him but it's more like I feel that he's not here for me anymore. It bothers me.

A few weeks ago tom told me that he has something on his mind and that he needs to tell me about it. But then he started to ignore me, not realy ignore but he just doesn't pays any attention to me.

I don't know why but I have a feeling that says me to leave him, to let him drown in his own word. Just ignore him, he's not worth this pain.
It may sound weird, but could it be possible, that he's in love with a good friend of mine..? Could it be possible that she doesn't want me to know about it? I think that maybe I wouldn't even talk to her anymore, just because of hidding this for me. I know she knows that there is something wrong with him. And I know that she ain't gonna talk to me about it..

I hate this! This is hurting me! Maybe it's better if I'll jump of a bridge.. Maybe it is all my fault..

(sorry for al the writing mistakes and stuff I'm not able to concentrate me right now..)

Post #1

Dearest reader,

You may wonder who I am, I can tell you but it'll be much more interesting if you could tell me who I am.
My name is Haileah, but just call me Hailey, that's easier to remember and people make less mistakes writing that. By the way, I'm seventeen, maybe you don't give a shit about that. For now I think I told enough 'bout who I am.

Just gonna make a little profile right here:

Name: Haileah Martin
Age: 17
Origin: Dutch (part Indonesian)
Country/land: the Netherlands/Holland
Pets: I've got a cat, named Panda( like the animal)
Favorite colour: at this moment green as grass
Favorite clothes: little black dress
Hair colour: it depends but right now black/ dark dark blue
Eye colour: brooowwnn.

So now you know me a little bit better (I know I said that I think I told enough about me.. ) I'm in fourth class of this school, when finished 6th you're able to go to university. When i'm grown up I want to be a doctor or a veterinarian. I really LOVE animals ^^.
Yeah it stopped snowing! Not that I don't like snow, it's just irritating me that every time we all think that summer is coming, it starts snowing again...
But the paper where I'm writing on is almost (not empty but ..) So I'm just gonna stop writing.

With love,
        Hailey (Haileah)